Why you need a Personal Sabbath

After a few years of living the life with littles, Joe and I found ourselves stretched and drained. Both of us are actively involved in the parenting of our children. After a full day of work in the office or at home and then loving our children and others who come into our home – we were too exhausted to make time for other things. As whole persons we needed time to be creative, to do the things that give us life, meaning and a deep sense of purpose. We needed to give to the world in ways only we could. With the constant needs of our busy lives, a personal sabbath was the solution to this problem.

Disclaimer: Our ways of work and parenting are of course unique to us, and ways in which we can give glory to God and give to the world. We don’t diminish the importance of the work we do there – but we both felt we had something more to give and realized that when we gave it, we received more life. 

The idea

A few years into living this busy life – I read a book A Mothers Rule of Life by Holly Pierlot. In this book the author takes a “Mother’s Sabbath” twice a month. Its a whole day to herself to refresh and rejuvenate. This idea really spoke to me and we tried this idea once. I went on a Mother’s Sabbath for almost a whole day (morning to evening). It was wonderful and Joe took on the sacrifice of watching the kids for me that day. But, it happened once, and then it didn’t happen again for almost 1 year. The reason I think it failed – Joe, who is just as much a father as I am a mother (if not more!) was in as much need of a “sabbath” as me. 

So this year we started something new. We alternate our sabbaths and they are much shorter (a 4 hour span instead of 8). By alternating, both of us are not just more willing, but even supportive of the other going on their sabbath. When I prioritize Joe’s sabbath – I am prioritizing my husbands happiness as well as my own – because my turn is next!

Personal Sabbaths are for everyone

I think the idea of a sabbath would be beneficial to everyone – no matter the stage of life. This is because a sabbath is a time of intentional restoration. Many times we choose things that are not restful when we take breaks – TV, Movies, gaming, catching up with others or even simply checking off things on our to-do list. To really be restored a sabbath must be a time when we do things in solitude that bring us a deeper sense of joy and unlocks a certain energy in us. 

Rules for a 4 hour Personal Sabbath:

Here are some rules to keep you in check for max restoration:

1. No watching or gaming for entertainment, 
2. Book readers –  stay away from the books that make you want to “binge read”. We are looking for nourishing and not addictive here. If you want to bring that book set a time limit by reading it towards the end of your sabbath. 
3. Only work if it brings joy or excitement. (For example: if you are student – no required reading unless its something you’re actually excited to read. If you are a homeschooling mom – no lesson planning unless you’ve been dying to read a certain blog post or book about it. Or if the idea of making a colorful organized binder for it excites you. Hehe.)
4. Only shop for things that you love. 
5. Limit shopping – 4 hours of shopping will exhaust you. If you plan to shop, limit to half the time. 
6. This is not the time to catch up with family/friends*. This time is for yourself. This one is tough for me – being an extrovert, talking to others really does bring me energy. But if I use the precious time I have set aside to talk to others, time disappears quickly and I have nothing lasting to take me through until my next sabbath. 
7. It is highly recommended to spend some time with Jesus – even 15-30 mins in an adoration chapel can bring so much life and grace. 
8. This is not the time to run errands* – if you must, keep it extremely short and make sure it’s on the way to where you actually want to be. 

*If you have a whole day planned for your personal sabbath there is more wiggle room to spend some time catching up with a loved one or ticking off your to do list.

Not sure how to start?

Here are some ideas of what to do on a Personal Sabbath:

1. Take your favorite thing to do to a coffee shop or library.
2. Work on a creative project or a side hustle that brings you happiness
3. Spend time with Jesus
4. Journal
5. Get lost in a book store/ at the library and discover more things to be learned.
6. Shop for something specific that you feel will add beauty to your life.
7. Get a massage/ relaxing spa treatment. (I got my nails done once but decided to stop because I spent the whole time chatting away with the nail tech and small talk is not relaxing to me)
8. Exercise if that brings you joy/energy.
9. Treat yourself to your favorite meal/drink while you people watch.

A personal sabbath can be a great way to have intentional time for restoration. Plan it, mark it on your calendar. Protect it!! If you are married, give the gift of this restoration to your spouse and enjoy it for yourself as well. We have seen so many fruits from it – better mental health, creative outlets, ways to use our gifts and charisms, and better relationships as parents and spouses.